


Destined

by InyrilJace



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-15 13:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4609029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InyrilJace/pseuds/InyrilJace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmates. The society she grew up in romanticised them to no end, but after life circumstances leave her jaded, can Sasha ever warm up to the idea of soulmates again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destined

**Author's Note:**

> Short little piece I wrote after getting struck with Springles feels. I love these two to death!
> 
> Let me know what you think! :)

It was a subject of contention for Sasha, even when she was growing up.

"But if they're my soulmate, shouldn't they love me no matter what?"

"Oh Sasha, enough of this pointless argument! Go wash up and come back with your sewing kit. Now!"

"But I want to go hunting with Dad!"

"Listen to your mother, Sasha. She knows what's best." The eight year old girl did not understand why the world had such strict ideas about how she should behave and prepare for her soulmate. All she knew was that she hated it.

Day after day was full of waking up early and sneaking out to practice her hunting skills. She was too young to use a rifle but her father had made her a bow and some arrows and she practised with them every chance she got. Next came school, full of boring lessons that she struggled to pay attention to, no matter how hard the teachers tried. When she got home, her mother was straight onto her with rigid lessons on how to be a good wife: how to cook, how to sew, how to clean, along with proper etiquette and the like.

Cooking was the only lesson Sasha really enjoyed. Hunting and food were her two passions and she never complained when her mother wanted to teach her new recipes. It was one of the few times they managed to get along.

As her mother tucked her into bed one night, she smiled and stroked some hair out of Sasha's face.

"I know you don't enjoy all this training now, sweetheart. But you'll understand why I did it when you meet your soulmate. You'll understand when you have your own children."

Yawning and burrowing further under the covers, Sasha absently replied, "I don't actually want children, Mama." She was asleep before she could see the expression of shock on her mother's face.

Life continued much in the same way until she was thirteen, when a freak accident brought everything crashing to a halt. Sasha still remembered the way her father – a strong, quiet, taciturn man – had sobbed brokenly at her mother's funeral. Those sobs scared her more than the sudden loss of her mother, haunting her sleep and leaving her feeling weak and vulnerable. If even a strong man like her father was so broken, how could she ever hope to be strong?

Her father's grief never eased and he became a shell of a man, spending his days in front of the cold fireplace, staring at the charcoal with a glass of golden liquid held in a trembling hand. Sasha knew she should be attending school. She was already behind in her classes, but the bills kept arriving and her father wasn't even looking at them, let alone grumbling about them anymore.

At fourteen years of age, Sasha left her school uniform in her wardrobe and took her father's rifle out of the strongbox. She knew how it worked, she had seen him clean it many times and had watched him shoot on the few times she had managed to sneak out after him. Leaving her lonely house behind, she took to the forests that crept onto their lands and began to hunt.

It was harder than it looked but Sasha refused to give up. She endured the pain in her shoulder from the rifle's recoil, gradually teaching herself how to hold it and fire without hurting herself. She trained her eyes to focus and to sight. And she taught herself woodlore where her father had left off when she was a child. She followed game tracks and gradually understood the signs of animal droppings, of scratch marks in the dirt.

Sasha was bursting with pride the day she finally killed a duck, running home with a smile on her face. Yet her joy came crashing down when her father spoke to her, the first words he had uttered since her mother's funeral.

"Don't find your soulmate, Sasha." His brown eyes were red-rimmed and watery, nothing like the sharp gaze she remembered. "Don't ever find them! It's not … it's not worth it."

He never spoke again and as the days rolled on into months, Sash felt herself hardening. It was as though a thick callous had developed over her heart and she did nothing to pick it away, instead welcoming it and letting it protect her.

She was seventeen when she woke up to find her father and the rifle missing. Sasha hoped against hope even as dread twisted her gut and she ran towards the forests. A loud _crack_ split the air as she reached the treeline and even though she knew what she would find, she still screamed and sobbed when she laid eyes on her father's lifeless body. Anger coiled through her, stronger and stronger until she could stand it no longer.

If this was what having a soulmate did to you, she wanted no part in it.

Sasha refused to touch the rifle again. The funeral bills piled up on top of the other bills until she had no choice but to sell the land. Her head hung limply between her hands that night, hopelessness echoing through her. She had paid off her debts and even had some money to spare but now she had no place to live and no source of income.

Leaving the town of Dauper was not something she had ever imagined doing. Yet Sasha forced herself to go, with only a small bag of belongings on her back. She stopped at the local gaming and fishing store, making a quick purchase before walking out of town and never looking back.

Alone in the world with her new bow, Sasha taught herself a different weapon and continued to hunt. Selling game and animal pelts became a way of survival and she quickly adapted, ignoring the curious stares and murmurs that followed her: why was a young woman hunting? Why was she not performing respectable duties that would one day please her soulmate?

The town of Ragako reminded Sasha a lot of Dauper. The roads were wide and full of potholes, the buildings looked tired and there was that same scent of country air permeating everything. It felt a little bit like home as she walked the streets, looking for a butcher to sell her kills to.

A short young man stood behind the counter of the only butcher in Ragako. Sasha braced herself as she spoke to him, negotiating the sale of her kills. Surely he would make some comment about her, or bring up the topic of soulmates in some way.

Yet the young man said nothing untoward to her, instead making small talk and offering easy smiles as he organised her payment.

"So are you going to be in town for a while or are you just passing through?" he asked as he placed the money on the counter before grabbing the kills to put them in the cool room.

"That depends. Are there any good hunting grounds around here?" Sasha replied.

"Yeah, there's a large forest on the eastern border that has a lot of game. I don't go hunting myself but I could show you where the main game trails are if you like? Tomorrow?"

Sasha shrugged and nodded. She didn't have anything to lose.

"Sure."

"Great, meet me back here tomorrow at dawn? I'm Connie, by the way. Connie Springer."

"Sasha Braus."

They parted ways and as the first rays of light poked over the land the next day, Sasha stood outside the butcher with her bow and arrows on her back. She had left her bag at the motel she stayed in overnight, thinking that if the game here was good, she might stay a while longer.

Connie emerged from the narrow alley beside the butcher, a grey beanie jammed over his head and his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he shivered in the cool morning air. He offered a grimace in greeting and Sash stifled the urge to smile at his discomfort.

"Not a morning person?" she asked.

"No," he muttered and tucked his chin into the collar of his flannel shirt. "Not in autumn, at least. It's too damn cold."

"You must love winter, then," Sasha said sarcastically and Connie shot her a mild glare.

He led her through the town to the eastern border. The game trails were easy to spot and Sasha thanked him before heading off. As Connie trudged off back into town, she lost herself in the forest and in hunting.

She returned that afternoon with a young deer being dragged behind her on a rustic frame. Connie could only stare in amazement when she dragged it to the butcher. In celebration, he offered to buy her dinner. Sasha was never one to turn down a good meal so she said yes.

They ate at the local bistro, talking easily with each other. Connie had a wild sense of humour and for the first time in what felt like years, Sasha found herself relaxing and laughing again. He seemed to instinctively know that she did not want to talk about her past and carefully skirted around all topics relating to family and the like. But he shared plenty about his own, openly complaining about his two siblings and their antics.

It was as they exited the bistro that it happened. Connie tripped over the doorway and Sasha flung out a hand to break his fall, catching him on the chest. Instantly, warmth flooded her hand and spread up her arm. Sasha gasped, yanking her hand back in horror as a bright glow emanated from Connie's chest, growing brighter and brighter as it pulsed in time with his heartbeat.

His jaw hanging slack, Connie stared down at himself before lifting his gaze and slowly pointing to her.

"Sash … you …"

She looked down, only to see the same glow beginning to pulse in her chest. The warmth that had spread from her hand up her arm wrapped itself around her heart, growing stronger and stronger until she felt like she could burst. Sasha wanted to scream as her head whipped back to stare at Connie, shocked to realise their glows were pulsing in synchronisation. He lifted a hand to press against the glow of his chest, pure disbelief all over his face.

"We're … soulmates," he whispered.

"No." Sasha took a step back, shaking her head furiously. "No!"

She wanted to turn and run, flee as far away as possible! But she couldn't. Her body refused to budge any further as every atom of her being screamed for her to go to him, to be with him and share her life with him. This was her _soulmate!_ He was the one person in the entire world who was destined to be with her! Why would Sasha ever want to be apart from him?

All the memories of her family came crashing back over her and Sasha felt the pain and grief begin to overwhelm the urge to stay with her soulmate. She took another step back, then another, until she turned and ran.

"Hey – Sasha, wait!"

Connie was running after her. She could hear him behind her but more than that, she could _feel_ him. It was like a second heartbeat pounding alongside her own, a second life that she was intrinsically linked to. Was this what it felt like for everyone? If so, no wonder her father had warned her against finding her soulmate.

"Sasha!" He was puffing now. "Come on, I never run! I can't keep up!"

She tried to run faster, but she could feel his desperation like it was begging her to stop. She could feel the strain of his body trying to match her pace. She could feel his anxiety, terrified of her leaving. And she knew, no matter what she did or where she went, they were linked now. The bond had been woken. He would be able to find her even if she fled to the other side of the earth.

She had to face him sooner or later. So Sasha slowed down, clenching her fists together nervously and reluctantly turning to face him.

Connie skidded to a halt, wheezing as he doubled over and braced his hands on his knees. He struggled to get his breath back, finally straightening upright to meet Sasha's restless gaze.

"We need to talk about this," he said firmly.

"There's nothing to talk about. We can't be soulmates, I don't want a soulmate! So … just … don't follow me!" A wry smile crossed Connie's face and Sasha stared in confusion. What did he have to smile about?

"I don't exactly what a soulmate, myself," he admitted.

"What?"

Connie shrugged and glanced to the side as he struggled to organise his thoughts.

"Everyone expects you to want a soulmate, like it's the greatest thing that could ever happen in life. And so to prepare for your soulmate, there's all this crap you have to go through to make sure you are a 'suitable partner', whatever the hell that means. I dunno, none of it ever really appealed to me. Why should I conform to someone else's rigid ideas of how I should behave, just so I can please one person who is destined to be perfect for me? I mean, if they're really perfect for me, shouldn't they accept me no matter what?"

Sasha's mouth fell open as she stared. Could it really be possible that of all people in the world, her _soulmate_ would have the same view on this as she did? Though, in a way, perhaps it made perfect sense.

"That's …" She couldn't think of anything to say so she just stared at him, in awe. Connie chewed on the inside of his cheek and shot her a glance.

"It's not like this really has to change anything between us. I thought you were pretty cool before this and I hoped we could be friends. Just friends. And I still feel the same."

"Is … is that even possible with a soulmate? To just be friends?"

"I have no clue! But the least we can do is find out, right?"

This was stupid and dangerous and went against everything she had learnt over her lifetime. Yet now that she had found her soulmate and awakened the bond, how was she meant to be rid of him? Deciding to take a chance, Sasha offered a small smile and felt through the bond as Connie relaxed before he smiled back.

"Come on, let's go check out the arcade. I bet I can beat you at Space Invaders!"

Sasha grinned and stepped forward to accept the challenge.

"You're on!"


End file.
